It’s an Uphill Battle from Here…

Re-enactors of the 78th Highland Regiment of Foot, stationed at the Halifax Citadel, demonstrate how the Scots compensated for a unique handicap they faced while fighting for the empire. Scottish gunpowder was a notoriously unreliable and feeble concoction, due to the inexplicable introduction of such additives as oats and turnip skins (seriously, we have no idea why), and if a musket was angled at more than 45 degrees from the horizontal, the ball couldn’t be depended upon to actually make it out of the end of the barrel. For this reason, especially tall opponents were usually attacked by either bayonet or insulting questions about ‘the weather up there.’ (The obvious solution of shooting them in the knees was considered unsporting.) zz9 13thaOccasionally (for example, while facing mobile infantry with a secure self-image), the soldiers WOULD be forced to fire their weapons. Unfortunately, given the aforementioned anemic munitions, this frequently resulted in the need to execute the ‘gutter maneuver’ – as the soldier would try to roll and shake his musket ball back to his weapon’s flash pan for another go. zz913thb But as fate would have it, this maneuver generally took just a few seconds less than was needed for the opposing forces to overrun the seemingly defenseless foe, and after a few overwhelming surprise victories, enemies saw the gutter maneuver as a feint and a prelude to an overwhelming close-quarters (because the musket balls still couldn’t travel very far) counter-attack. Before long, the mere raising of the muskets was enough to clear the field of opponents, and the Highlanders’ most common battle wound was from getting gunpowder (mixed with oats and turnip skins) in the eye.

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Pothole Portals to the Past

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWhile many less imaginative cities engage in a never ending battle against their potholes, Halifax embraces these windows into yesterday, to the delight of historians and auto repair shops alike.

Here we see one such asphalt aperture to ancient times – in this case a time of paving stones and tram tracks (which haven’t been used in Halifax since 1949). Other city potholes have been known to reveal mysterious artifacts from unknown civilizations, the secret tunnel between Halifax and George’s Island, strong evidence in support of the Theory of Continental Drift, and of course the remains of countless cars and their unlucky drivers.

Halifax: to see behind you, just look down!

A New Theory About Our History

Last month, the Halifax Port Authority (a Canadian Crown Corporation that flies American flags over its facilities – but that’s another story) unveiled “The Emigrant” – a new public art installation near the cruise ship docks and historic Pier 21.

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A tribute to the millions that left distant lands to build a life in Canada, and in so doing, help to build the nation itself, the sculpture may have unintentionally revealed a little known contributing factor in the centuries of migration – as it appears that some of our ancestors left their homes not as much to build a new life in Canada as to escape regions overrun by zombie families…

haligonians statue3…and creepy hand-plants.

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Seriously, who could blame them?